Posted by TexasChic on July 18, 2008, at 17:09:50
In reply to Re: So, so today, posted by TexasChic on July 17, 2008, at 22:28:57
Yep, got the write up today. Of course, they call it an "opportunity", which is pretty hard not to laugh in their faces about. I completely kept my cool and DID NOT CRY!!! It was hard to sit through though, because it was all just so ridiculous. One of the things she wrote as an example of my misusing my time was how yesterday she came up and saw that email I had written to the big boss. She said I took 45min to an hour writing a personal email on work time. I think I may have actually laughed then. I said, "First of all, the email was to --- --- (big bosses name), and second of all, I had written it at home and forwarded it to myself. I was waiting for my computer to finish processing something, so I pulled it up and was reading it over when she came up behind my back and saw it". Her boss made a gesture that seemed to mean, oh, well that's okay then. I didn't point out then that she had obviously completely fabricated how I was writing it for 45min to an hour. I probably should have, but I was just trying to get through the damn thing.
I went on then to ask for time limits for when she requested I pull up a picture (something she had said I was inefficient at). They all kind of just looked at me. I said, if I'm going to be judged on my efficiency, then I need an actual time limit. The HR lady said,"Nobody is going to be standing over you with a stop watch, this is a matter of how well you know your job." I said, "Yes, and if I'm to judged on something so vague as 'efficiently', then I need a time limit in order to defend myself". Finally my bosses boss said, "Okay, what do you want, 5 minutes?" We both looked at my boss, and I think maybe for once in my life I had stumped her - she just shrugged. So as I was writing it down I said, "Okay, then! 5 minutes for locating photos". This is a ridiculously large amount of time for this task, so it was hard to keep a smirk off my face.
Next I addressed the other thing she said I didn't know, which were our editorial rules, which are a 2 page list of rules we are all supposed to go by. I said. "Okay, she says I don't know my editorial rules, but some things she says are in the rules, aren't". She said in a short clipped voice, "Like what! Give an example!" I said, I cant think of an example, I just know that many, many times when she says I have missed a rule, I go back and look but am unable to find it on the sheet. So she grudgingly said she would write up some common rules. I should have pushed to get something more specific, but by then I was loosing steam (keep in mind I had to first listen to my boss read two pages of idiocy talking about how horrible I was at my job before I could respond).
The last thing they said was me and my boss have to meet each week to discuss how Im doing. FINALLY, I got to leave. A few minutes later my boss came up and puts her hand on my back and says in a syrupy voice, Are you okay? I replied in a sarcastic voice, Um, yeah. Then she said, Do you need to go home? in the same voice. I said, somehow even more sarcastically, Um, NO. Then she said something like shes doing this to help me, and I said, Whatever you say. Finally she left me alone. I was livid.
I then wrote an email to the HR mediator telling her how I REALLY felt and giving the example of how my boss had lied about my spending an hour writing an email when she wasnt even there during that time (she had just come back from a meeting when she walked up behind me). I told her I would continue to do my job to the best of my ability, just as I always have, and I would always remain the professional, just as I always have. But, I said, I dont believe she has any intention of working with me, and think instead she is just going through the motions to get rid of me. I said shes a bully and a liar. But I would have no problem proving myself competent at my job, so thats what I will do.
Then I finished my work and came home, and I found myself thinking, why on earth did I stay there all this time??? I think it was pure stubbornness! I dont I just dont like to quit.
The bad thing is now I just cant imagine going back in everyday and having her act all fake nice while I try to keep a neutral face. But tomorrow I will talk to the T, and I think I will first address my anger issues about all of this (I noticed one of her specialties was anger management). Normally this isnt a problem for me, but I think as I slowly become more assertive, my anger is being uncovered as well.
Well, this is an insanely long post, so Im going to stop now. Ill end this by saying for the first time, I actually feel some excitement about a new job!
-T
poster:TexasChic
thread:838524
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080702/msgs/840546.html