Posted by Gabbix2 on December 20, 2005, at 22:07:00
In reply to Re: survival instinct, posted by zeugma on December 20, 2005, at 19:23:15
Oh Zeugma, I so wish I could send you something to magically soothe you.
Terror is the feeling I relate to the most. And my heart goes out to you. I would much prefer depression to unending horror.
It's something I can't even describe, I was in that state for almost 5 years with little reprieve.
Mind warping, world spinning.. fear.
The Doctors always wanted to know what i was afraid of, I'd say "everything and nothing"
They seemed to think that anxiety or fear was connected to apprehension, or worry, and to me it wasn't even comparable.That survival instinct can be a tricky thing..
When I made the decision to suicide I'd suddenly obsessively fear death, which had only seemed to be a comfort the day before.I used to get people to write to me, just mundane daily things they do.. because it seemed ironically, magical to me, that there was life, ordinariness, even happiness out there.
Well, all that was my feeble attempt at empathizing. I've been free of it for two years, but I'll never be convinced that it's gone for good.
I hope you find some comfort.
And I'm really sorry you have to endure this.
poster:Gabbix2
thread:590717
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051215/msgs/590858.html