Posted by margie24 on June 9, 2005, at 1:33:47
In reply to Re: Can't get past this HATRED! » margie24, posted by Susan47 on June 9, 2005, at 0:39:35
I sent this to the wrong place, oops.
JenStar,
I'm up again. I read your post. Thanks. Sorry, I confused you with someone else. Sounds like your wedding was a lot like mine.
I agree about weddings. And, you're right, most men really could probably do without them. So in that aspect, it probably is the bride's day. And there's no way I'll take that away from her.
I've decided I will enjoy the wedding. I even thought of something to say if they allow me to toast at the rehearsal dinner. I'll tell her she's completed my brother (which is probably true) and then say we're glad to have another sister. It will be very therapeutic...that's how I find therapy. I think I can do it. I might pass out. The thought frightens me becasue I want to mean it and I don;t want her to roll her eyes (inside). You know what, though, I know my brother would feel relief.
Something you said really hit me tonight and I feel disgusted if this could be true. I had a vision of some gathering we had several years ago and I clearly saw her, happy, joking, etc. I asked my husband if I was imagining it, and he said, no, he remembers very early on she was like that. She even started bargain shopping and bragging about how cheap she got something for (which is one of our favorite pasttimes). I'm so worried that I could be right. Maybe she was trying to fit in with us, and we somehow didn't let her in. (?) There was a picture taken of us 3 girls (the sisters) when my sis was 9 months pregnant. I know sis-in-law was there. Why wasn;t she in the picture. Did we exclude her or was she in the bathroom. At my wedding, I asked my brother to serve as a "bridesmaid". Did that hurt her feelings? It was so long ago, I can't remember how or when she could have felt unwelcomed. Maybe she's like me and instead of seeming saddened or hurt she turned into Super-Bitch-I-Need-You-Not.
What if that's really what happened. Suddenly, after all this time, I feel like I want to give her a big hug.
Did we unknowingly shun her because she's different? I mean she is in terms of her sense of humor, her priorities, her expressions of happiness, her quiet demeanor (not just the upbringing thing). And she really isn;t the nicest person you could meet, but...
CRAP! It's gonna be a long night.
Thanks again for listening,
Margie
poster:margie24
thread:509519
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050603/msgs/509935.html