Posted by rainbowbrite on June 8, 2005, at 21:59:06
In reply to Re: Can't get past this HATRED!, posted by margie24 on June 8, 2005, at 15:40:20
Just wanted to add my 2 cents...
>>But, it's just a ring afterall. I just thought an engagement ring was suppose to be a suprise, a gift from your husband.
Not always....I will be choosing mine, its really common now to do that. My friends have all chosen theirs and some have designed them.
>>If I had more money, I still don't think I'd change my car. I am a teacher, and I love my job. She always looks so nice and I'm all about jeans and t-shirts, so maybe I envy her put-togetherness. But I like being comfortable. I have thought a lot about jealousy. Her family is wealthy and I guess she's always been a big shopper. She learned the importance of "things" from what I gather. I grew up very middle class and shopping for the sake of shopping was never something I learned. Paying too much for things was something we tried not to do. I hope I've allowed that to be just a difference between us, and not a source of jealousy.
From what I am hearing from your post is that her lifestyle really bothers you, correct me if Im wrong. it is tough when you mix families it gets even more complicated...I mean sibling to sibling is differnet enough but bring in an outsider who has a different way of life and it will rock the boat.
Maybe try to see where she is coming from...she is entering a large family and probably is self conscious. But if she grew up being and living 'impractical', trust me it is not an easy thing to change. Just as it would be hard for you to throw money away on silly things it is hard for her not to. Thats just her.>>I can afford to dress in nicer clothes, I just chose not to. Maybe I haven't tried hard enough to understand her beliefs and values. I don't know.
I guess that is what I was sort of getting at above...I am not trying to be mean but I think that is a good possibility. It is very hard to do that though. And just remember it is not easy to change another person. Keep things in perspective, do you want to risk losing your brother?
I feel for you, it sounds awful.
poster:rainbowbrite
thread:509519
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050603/msgs/509857.html