Posted by caraher on June 6, 2005, at 14:20:35
In reply to Re: This is about Sex and Men, posted by Susan47 on June 4, 2005, at 18:21:51
> So, when a man is making love to a woman, what is he thinking about? Do tell. I want to know. C'mon. Or is he thinking at all? What's he think about afterwards, when it's over? How do you know when, as a woman, you're being appreciated? How do you behave when you appreciate a woman?
I've only ever had sex with my wife so my thoughts may be unusual. But the first thing that surprises me about my thoughts during sex is that I *don't* find myself thinking about being with a different woman. That's not how I am all day long, but somehow having her there in the flesh pretty much wipes out the usual wandering thoughts.
The thoughts usually aren't all that deep during sex. For me they kind of circle about, changing from one to another with the following recurring themes: how good what's happening feels, how good she or some feature of her body looks or feels, wondering if she's enjoying it, should we do something different now, enjoying the sounds and expressions she makes, amazement at the realization that she enjoys it as much as i do. And I always find myself assessing how close we are to "finishing," since it generally works best if I follow a "ladies first" policy.
Afterward it varies a lot depending on circumstances. I don't think guys ever actually think about sleep; it just happens. If it's particularly good one of two "afterthoughts" come. One is not really a thought, just a kind of blissful exhaustion. That's a case where you should take a guy falling asleep as a compliment! ;) Otherwise I want to see her smile at me and think about how amazing it is that she could love me.
If your worrying about whether you're being "appreciated" don't overdo it. I concentrate so much on what I like about her that I don't even see the blemishes. Those fade away until afterward, unless she calls attention to them.
How can you tell if you're being appreciated? I think that's just too variable - it's a communication issue. So it comes down to knowing the individual man.
poster:caraher
thread:507697
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050603/msgs/508579.html