Posted by TamaraJ on February 24, 2005, at 10:48:36
In reply to Re: Kara, my turn. How you are doing? » TamaraJ, posted by KaraS on February 23, 2005, at 22:23:56
> Hi,
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> Thanks. It was a real bummer to wake up and not feel the same as yesterday. It's so strange and disturbing.-- Bummer is putting it mildly! When it has happened to me, I found it unnerving and demoralizing, to say the least. But, I am sure ou can and will have more good days like that one Kara. It will happen, just not fast enough I know, but it will. I have faith.
> Someday I'll try that as well. For now I hope to discipline myself more to use the acupressure techinques. If you have so much of it covered by insurance, then you should definitely try it again.-- I think the accupressure can yield similar, revitalizing and calming results. And, if you can do it yourself, that's great! When you get going with it, I would be interested in hearing how you do. So, if you don't mind, keep me posted ok.
> Sounds more like a good reason than an excuse to me. After hearing about the -30 and -40 degrees out there, I think I should stop complaining about rain.-- You get used to the cold weather. As long as you dress for it, you are not forced to hibernate. But some days . . . ouch! One time when my dad went skiing, the temperature, with the windchill, was almost -60 at the top of the mountain (and, that can be even more brutal when you are riding up on the chairlift). He skied all morning and ended up with really bad frostbite on his face. He sure learned his lesson! But the rain . . . Now, that is another story all together. I would be complaining too if it went on for days and days. At least with bitter cold weather there are still bright, sunny days to take the sting out. But rain, dark and overcast, day after day, can take its toll after a while. No, you have every right to complain.
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> I'll try the Zoloft tomorrow during the day. I'm only on 12.5 mg. so I'm not terribly optimistic about being able to get to a therapeutic dosage. I don't think the niacinamide would do much either because it didn't help against my sensitivity from the Effexor. Wellbutrin trial is way off in the future but I agree it's worth another shot.-- That's too bad about the niacinamide. I know you don't like benzos, but maybe you can ask your pdoc about a VERY small script just to help quell the start-up anxiety so that you can try to titrate to a therapeutic dose. By the way, have you had your thyroid function tested recently? Maybe your thyroid med needs to be adjusted. Also, is Remeron completely off the table? I don't blame you for holding off on the Wellbutrin trial. You are wise.
> I know. The apathy is a tough one. I struggled with that for a long time. I didn't fully understand how much the medication was adding to that before I started hanging out here. Now I'm beginning to forgive myself for not getting anything accomplished in these last few years.-- I agree with you. If I hadn't stumbled across Psychobabble, I would have never known just how common it is. Like you, I am beginning to forgive myself. Although we don't always believe it, we can't always control these things. It's so hard to forgive ourselves, yet so easy to forgive others. We are our own worst enemies sometimes.
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> I had to take some time off from a job many years ago. It felt like failure at first but it was the best thing I ever did (not that I really had a choice - I wasn't functioning well at all). I needed to get healthy again and get the anxiety under control. Then I went back to the job healthier, calmer and in control. If you can, try to think of your time off as you doing something wonderful for yourself in order to take care of yourself.-- I have always worried about letting others down and disappointing them. I know now, at least I think I do, that I was really only disappointing myself. When I first got sick, I was really ignoring the deleterious effects the iron deficiency was having on my physical and mental health. So, instead of letting my body heal, I kept pushing myself to exercise, socialize, and just generally keep very busy. I was treating my recovery as if I was treating only an agitated depression. And, all I ended up doing was making myself more physically exhausted and more depressed and anxious. Once I started taking it easy and accepting my temporary limitations, I started to feel a bit better. But, then there was the bad reaction to Depo and then the fractured wrist and resulting surgery. But now, I am hoping that I can move forward and regain my enthusiasm and energy. Time will tell I guess.
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> Absolutely you need to forgive yourself because you did nothing wrong. You were sick and you needed to take time off to get well again. It's not easy to stop feeling guilty about it - especially if you're a perfectionist like me and expect that you have to live up to unrealistic standards.-- Self-forgiveness is so hard don't you think. I would never think badly of a friend or colleague who had to take time off for health reasons, and would offer as much support as possible and encourage them to just think of themselves and their own needs and recovery. Yet, with myself, it is unacceptable. But, like you, I am learning I think. I hope.
> Have you ever read the book "The Power of Now" by Eckart Tolle? I just ordered it from the library. I have a feeling it's the kind of book you would enjoy and that might help you with some things. I'll let you know how I find it.
-- I haven't. But, thanks for the suggestion, I'll check it out. I have been reading "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron, on the recommendation of my pdoc. I had put it aside for a while, but I am going to finish it in the next few days (it is a very short book).
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> That's too bad about your gp doctor. It's so hard to find good ones who will listen to you and work with you (let alone one who has experienced it herself and openly talks about it). Did she refer you to someone else who is good? On the bright side, if you need to change pdocs, now you can. Hopefully you won't need to but it's nice to have that safety net.-- I'm worried about her. I had a follow-up appointment with her in late November to have my iron levels checked again, and she seemed to be fine. I just don't know what could have happened. She has always been really fiesty - a real go-getter. Mind you, she was somewhat of an "A" type personality and she was overweight and always seemed to have a diet coke in her hand. So, who knows. I am going to send her a card to let her know my thoughts are with her (I am one of those card people). It always freaks her out, but she is used to me (I send her thank yous once in a while and Christmas cards). I am going to have to make some calls to try to find a doctor in my area who is taking patients. That's a drag!
Take care of yourself Kara. My thoughts are with you, and I wish you nothing but the best.Tamara
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poster:TamaraJ
thread:456548
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050224/msgs/462663.html