Posted by PhoenixGirl on February 21, 2005, at 16:27:15
I've had a cat named Sammy for about a year, and I just got a second cat named Byron two weeks ago. They are both adult males. Sammy is the outgoing one and Byron is shy. I want two cats and I wanted them to be friends, but Sammy is constantly attacking Byron! I can't tell if it's always aggression or if sometimes it's play, but he usually jumps on Byron and bites the back of his neck. Byron doesn't fight back, he freaks out and runs off.
I'm going to try some behavioral techniques to help Sammy accept Byron, but there's a chance that he will never accept another cat. He's never lived with other cats, while Byron has. If they don't get along, I'll have to find another home for one of them.
What makes matters worse is that while I love them both, I like Byron more than Sammy, even though I've had Sammy longer. If I had to find a new home for one of them, it would be Sammy. And I feel SO guilty about this. I feel that if I adopt a pet, I'm making a commitment to that pet. They're family. I feel that I'm failing at my commitment, being irresponsible, and being a bad cat mommy.
This situation is a really big deal to me. Every time I look at Sammy, I feel so sad and guilty. I'll miss him if I have to give him away, and I'll worry about his happiness. I have no way of controlling the way the next owner would treat him, I can just try to find the best owner I can.
It's all such torment. I'm going to try to get Sammy to tolerate Byron with the techniques I read about from the Humane Society, but I know from my research on this subject that Sammy may never get along with Byron. :(
poster:PhoenixGirl
thread:461421
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050215/msgs/461421.html