Posted by tampagirl70 on December 7, 2004, at 13:06:20
In reply to Re: I don't want to feel like this forever » tampagirl70, posted by partlycloudy on December 7, 2004, at 12:03:25
I thought you were in my area, but couldn't remember. You asked about a therapist - as a matter of fact, I found a therapist that specializes in OCD. I spoke with her in mid-November and she said she didn't have any openings until mid-December, but she wanted me to read a book before I saw her. I have the book, but haven't read it yet. I love to read, but not particularly about OCD. I just ordered a book on HOward Hughes so I can read about someone else's mental health issues.
I know what you mean about a bad year. From 2000 to June of this year I was doing perfectly fine. I had some moments of anxiety, but nothing serious and was able to shake them off. I don't know what happened this year, why all of a sudden I'm flopping around. Actually, I DO know what happened earlier this year and why I fell into a depression in June, but that was a combo of a couple of things, one of which was going off my meds. Anyway....this most recent episode has no real definite trigger, mostly just a conglomeration of many things.
Because I've been so up and down, I'm now trying to anticipate how I'm going to feel and what's going to happen 2 days from now. That in itself creates anxiety and makes things worse. People are always telling me to take it easy, relax, don't push yourself, but when Sunday night comes and I look around and see the things I didn't get accomplished, I get upset. Christmas is here once a year and I only get so many days to enjoy my decorations. I usually start decorating Thanksgiving weekend, but didn't this year. I also told my husband that I'd make him 50 pumpkin breads this year to send to some clients. I did this last year and after they were all done, I couldn't stand the thought of making another pumpkin bread. Right now I have 18 done and keep telling myself "Only 32 more to go," but that hasn't helped me make them. Now that I have a cold, I won't be making any this week either, so another week goes by that I will have not accomplished anything. Well....not necessarily "anything". Laundry will get done, work will get done, some decorating will probably get done, but most likely no baking.
Do you work? Are you married? What meds are you taking? I just took some klonopin - it always makes me feel better, but I don't want to get dependent on it.
Go to your appointment - it'll make you feel better! :)
poster:tampagirl70
thread:425704
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041202/msgs/425748.html