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I don't want to feel like this forever

Posted by tampagirl70 on December 7, 2004, at 11:35:57

About 6 years ago I went through a major depressive episode and it was the worst experience of my life. I also have OCD so that made it even worse. For about 3 1/2 years my OCD has been under control, but this year has just not been a good year. I had some problems in June and then things got better. At the end of October I had some problems and now things still aren't the way they used to be, but I have good days and bad days. I feel like most of the bad days are behind me, but one never knows. I don't want to feel like I do right now forever. I want to be the old me - fun, happy, mischievious (sp?), wanting to go out and do things, looking forward to doing things, etc. I had a good 3 or 4 days and now I'm back to being just mediocre. My OCD is still around, although not as bad as it was, but I know it can be better. My pdoc adjusted my meds about 3 weeks ago and I see my therapist next Thursday. I love Xmas and all that goes with it - baking, decorating, shopping, celebrating - but while I feel the way I do, I don't enjoy it. I'm not anxious to go to lunch like I usually am. I'm hesitant to go anywhere, basically, except when its time to go home. I look forward to going home and feel pretty comfortable and at ease there. I just want to be normal again...


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poster:tampagirl70 thread:425704
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041202/msgs/425704.html