Posted by alesta on October 1, 2004, at 15:53:08
hi,
does anyone share my feeling that it is harder to get to know people online? i feel much more effective in person for some reason..i just don't feel like i have much of an impact online..for some reason i thought it would be the other way around..maybe appearance matters more than i thought it did..i thought people liked who i was all this time, and now i'm wondering if they just liked the way i look. or maybe it is just hard to bond and get to know people online (for me). i really wanted to enjoy the online experience (this is pretty much the first group that i've ever been a part of), but now i'm finding myself disillusioned and depressed by it, and attached to the people here..i kind of wish i wasn't. i just feel empty. maybe i'm expecting too much..i'm stuck in my house due to having a broken down car that my bf won't pay $35 to fix (that he drove), and so i can't work, have no money, no cable tv, no books to read, hardly any food, no coffee, no distractions at all! i'm going to go crazy..it has been like this for months now. and on top of the emptiness i'm yelled at continually. ugh..i'm losing my mind, here..sometimes i could use some sort of pick-me-up from this monotony and drudgery..i've experienced many forms of hell in the last 13 years..nonstop..no breaks..so when i hear about people who had depression for 6 months or a year or something and focus on it like it was so terrible that they had to go through that i'm wondering how they would handle a continual 13-year nightmare of the worst kind (and i'm not even including my brother's death, my step-father's death, my father's emotional break from me or my childhood with my demon of a mother--my qualifications for hell are very strict, and these things don't come close). i keep hoping the world will end soon. behind my positive veneer lies the history of a hellishly tortured life..thanks for listening.:)amy
poster:alesta
thread:397979
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041001/msgs/397979.html