Posted by Klokka on August 18, 2004, at 21:45:38
In reply to Re: When did this happen or has it happened yet?, posted by pegasus on August 18, 2004, at 13:39:42
Thank you so much for posting. The situation you mentioned sounds like it must've been really difficult for you and your brother. It is a hard decision to make. I still feel torn about not just holding on to my kitty and doing all I could to keep them from doing this to him... I feel like a traitor for giving him to them, but I know they just would've done it by force anyway, and that would have made my poor boy's last hours even more scary.
I feel like I failed him. He was my cat. I was supposed to take care of him, to protect him. I was too stunned to even put up much of a fight. I failed. And nothing in the world can make that better or bring him back.
I just wish I knew WHY she was doing this. There is no rational reason. Money? it COST money to put him down (which we definitely don't have) and without spending that, he easily could have lived until we did have the money to have him diagnosed and treated. Convenience? to be valued over a life? now that she's at work, she wasn't even home when his litterbox needed to be cleaned. I'd been feeding him for the last weeks because the vet wanted to put him on a specific portion of hypoallergenic food and it was easier to keep track of if one person did it. Suffering? He wasn't ill. He enjoyed his life. What health problems he did have did not cause him significant distress and likely could have been helped if my mom had only had some patience. It just seems too malicious. Is she trying to hurt me? Punish me? I feel so guilty. It seems like all this happened to the cat because I'm a horrible daughter. She knew the easiest way to get at me was to go through my cat. When she came home from work that evening she yelled at me for all my shortcomings when I asked her why she had to do what she did, and in such a callous manner. Could she really have...? I don't know what to think, maybe I'm just being paranoid, but this doesn't make sense. I don't want to have to live here anymore. Maybe I should look for a job and start asking around at church to see if anyone knows of a room for rent or something. I don't know anymore. I guess I don't have much to complain about, but this isn't home anymore without him and I want out.
poster:Klokka
thread:378596
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040811/msgs/379288.html