Posted by Indie on July 20, 2004, at 11:30:06
So deeply sad that I feel that I will collapse if I stand up. So deeply sad that it feels as if my heart will explode. I accidentally dreamed last night of the man I love. I try so hard not to think of him. I try so hard to forget that my heart still belongs to him. I mostly try to forget that he rejected my heart. That, after two years, he walked away from me. That he no longer loves me. I try so hard not to remember the times that we laughed and wrestled and rolled in the sheets for hours. He loved the me that was alive and lovely. His memory just reminds me of the life and joy that seeped from my body never to return. That day he told me that he no longer loved me was six months ago. Here I sit, still loving and he has moved on...he still laughs and lives and I cry. I am not sure whether I want him back more or if I want the me back that he loved. I cannot seperate the two anymore. How do you learn to un-love somebody that your trully loved. He is living about half a mile from me at the moment. He sometimes calls...we are "still friends" but how can I see him and not kiss and hug and adore. I know that it is over. I know that we are "incompatible". I tell everybody that I am fine, that we parted amicably. I just fail to mention that my heartbreak iis so heavy that it sometimes trys to suffocate me.
A little voice inside my head screams "GET OVER IT!!!" but then I hear his voice, I remember his beautiful, contagious laugh and I collapse. I want desperately to hear "Te quiero, te amo, vamos mi amor a ver el mundo" but never again will I see his adoring eyes. Never again will I hear the deep passion in his voice.....
poster:Indie
thread:368236
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040717/msgs/368236.html