Posted by LynneDa on June 18, 2004, at 9:43:41
In reply to One last story, posted by Racer on June 17, 2004, at 23:32:57
Racer, this message is for you. You give such great advice and really have a good handle on things in your life, good perspective.
But I just want to throw something at you: How do you know that the supposed pain, torture, ambulance bills, etc., that your husband has to "endure" for you isn't something that he is supposed to take on and willingly chooses to do so BECAUSE you give him something incalculably precious - your unconditional love, support through his joblessness, etc. Please don't be so hard on yourself!!! We are given challenges in this life for reasons we don't know. I believe in reincarnation so that is what drives this theory. I feel like my husband endures a lot with me, but in some way I know we chose each other and the trials we're going through because there's a greater lesson to be learned. My husband has been underemployed and unemployed over the past few years from a lay-off. We were just married in 2002 so don't have years to fall back on either and my real serious problems didn't start til after we were together. So, I can relate to your situation a bit :-) Just wanted to let you know!
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Antigua, my husband and I were married shortly before I got so sick this time. We don't have years of history together, years of the good times to look back on. I think a lot about how much better his life would be without all the problems I've brought to it. Hell, the ambulance bills alone from my suicide attempt are enough to convince me that I'm a hell of a lot more trouble than anything I've ever done for him can make up for. We're still trying to pay them off, since he was laid off two years ago.
>
> And every morning, he tells me that he's glad to have me with him. No matter what.
>
> I'm so sorry that your husband is focussing on what that therapist of his is telling him. But you know what? That's *his* problem. Part of any partnership is that sometimes the effort put in is unequal. This just happens to be the part where he has to put more in. If he can't see what you put in right now -- and believe me, the effort you put in to stay alive is worth every bit more than what he's doing, just because it takes more effort for you -- when you get stabilized, that's the time to address that part of your relationship, not now.
>
> Forgive me if I'm getting any of the details wrong. The only way I'm getting through my life right now is to sedate myself and sleep through all the days. But you have every right to live, and every right to live without this pain.
>
> Now tell us what you are doing to stay safe right now, and tell us where to send flowers to the hospital. We need you.
poster:LynneDa
thread:357599
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040611/msgs/357758.html