Posted by Scott in Vermont on June 4, 2004, at 8:55:04
In reply to Re: did someone say naked? » Scott in Vermont, posted by karen_kay on June 4, 2004, at 0:37:07
The children are with me 3 weekends out of the month. I am doing everything I can to change that, but for now, I see them Friday night through Monday morning. Monday night through Friday morning the house is “adult only”. Also, the “off” weekend each month is usually fraught with hedonistic activity. So I don’t think you’ll find the presence of children cramping your style. I appreciate your efforts to remain somewhat presentable around them, with the understanding that you won’t have to do it very often.
If you choose to frolic when I am not home, that is your choice and the option is certainly open to you. However, if you have things that need to be done (such as the garden needs weeding) then I ask you to be responsible and weed first, frolic later. And no, I do not mind that some of my friends join you. That’s the entire idea behind this.
If you need “Karen time”, then take it. But do remember that in your absence, someone else is picking up your duties. So please, take the time you need, and then come back ready to get back into the routine.
The “X” rack… it’s a bad place. You don’t want to go there. I suppose it could be used in lesser offenses, but then the intimidation value will be lost. So no, you can’t go play on the “X” rack. No worries, though. There are other devices in the attic. Those are the ones you might be interested in. And thank you for looking into the clothing request.
I fully expect that you and my girlfriend would compare notes. I would be surprised if you did not. As far as “Scott time”, you can work that out amongst yourselves, much like you and I would work out “girlfriend time”. As far as power struggles go, there really is not need for one. There is no “power” per se, it is a collective where we have meetings and discuss things democratically. There are positions appointed, such as I am the steward for the finances. My girlfriend is primary on managing the household items, and we share in the other duties. I do tasks traditionally considered “male” tasks, such as lifting heavy things, fixing stuff, and making sure that things don’t break to the point of needing to be fixed. My girlfriend does most of the cooking and laundry. We shop together. So when you come into this (as well as your poor Canadian wife) there will be a division of tasks and duties, but as you can see, the addition of even one person divides the tasks to the point where each person has a few tasks individually, but everyone benefits overall.
This next subject is something I think you are being unreasonable on, and I won’t shrink from speaking my mind on it. If I am already in a bed and sleeping, and you come in to play with someone other than myself, I’m going to ask you to find somewhere else to play and I do not think that is unreasonable at all. To illustrate this, lets say I’m having a “guy’s only” night and we come into the bedroom where you are already asleep. Would you want me to kick you out of the sack? No! You’d want me to go find somewhere else to play. When you look at this scenario from a different angle, it doesn’t look so unreasonable.
I’m always open to negotiation. And I haven’t said “no” to anything, really. I did not say you could not have a pony, I said I wasn’t going to help you get it. I did not say you “can’t” anything (except sell my children, and no, you can’t rent them either). But I did say that you are responsible for making the individual things you want to happen. Asking me to help you with getting a pony would be like me asking you to help me get something you would have no interest in and did not want to deal with.
How tall are you, anyway?
poster:Scott in Vermont
thread:349363
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040602/msgs/353683.html