Posted by tabitha on May 30, 2004, at 14:19:25
In reply to massive rant about being single, posted by Emme on May 30, 2004, at 8:48:28
Hi Emme, I'm single in 40s and I really wish that the single life could be a better option. It feels like there's no place for middle-aged single people in society. I used to have this book about single women in midlife, and the conclusion was they were perfectly happy, because they had such fulfilling careers and such wonderful circles of friends. Well, sure, I'd be happier if I had those things, too! Tell me where single people can find wonderful circles of friends? My experience is that single friends are lower priority, or are temporary, in-between-relationships priorities, and it's difficult to maintain the friendships once the others are partnered up. To me that just bites, but of course I understand it's normal to put your partner and/or children first.
I'm in a bind. I know being single is difficult and lonely, and I have some regrets about being childless (child-free?) but I don't exactly like being partnered up either. I have such limited energy-- when I'm dating it feels that all I do is work and see Him. At least when not dating I do some self-development, you know?
And the last few men I dated, it was like they had a huge enormous void in their lives and expected me to fill it instantly, and be at their side all the time, and spend all free time with them. It was too much for me. I still need some alone-time, some me-time. And their timeline was so... accelerated. The stereotype is that women of my age are supposed to be the ones pushing, but I can tell you, there sure are some men who are in a big hurry to get partnered for life.
poster:tabitha
thread:352101
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040525/msgs/352167.html