Posted by deirdrehbrt on December 14, 2003, at 20:34:38
In reply to Re: THIS IS SO BAD FOR ME, posted by kara lynne on December 14, 2003, at 19:06:21
Kara,
Sorry I didn't get back sooner. Been having some brain cramps today.
I was thinking about the counseling. I have one concern there. That concern is that there might be conflicting agendas. Should you go to counseling with him, I would suggest that it be a completely new counselor, and that you both go with the intent of resolving your conflicts, in whatever form that resolution might take.
I also think that you shouldn't go unless you are healthy enough to handle it yourself. Couples therapy is really difficult. For me, it was hard to express my own wants and desires. I have a natural tendency to do what it takes to eliminate conflict. That doesn't work to my advantage, especially when the other party has their own agenda.
Were I going into it now, I might have done things differently than before. I don't know how I would have done things, but I would have looked after my own interests just a bit better.
You're going through an incredibly difficult time right now. Please look after your own interests in all of this. Please take care of yourself, so you have the strength, courage and perserverance to look out for yourself.
Look here, and see all of the people who are on your side, who care for you, and who want you to come through this better and stronger. Remember the you that we know, Intelligent, wise, courageous. You're going to make it, and you'll come out better than fine on the other side, however it turns out.
One last thing, about the way things turn out... I managed to learn that when you have considered ALL of the possibilities, there are many that you haven't considered at all, and one incredible, fantastic one that you hadn't even dared to believe.
So, dare to believe that something incredible can happen. It can.
Dee.
poster:deirdrehbrt
thread:289482
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031207/msgs/289835.html