Posted by Susan J on October 21, 2003, at 10:47:38
In reply to Re: I love this thread :), posted by cybercafe on October 21, 2003, at 2:43:56
Good Morning, Cyber,
> ug... i came off a bit wrong there.... i was more interested in knowing things like, damn, when do you start to hold hands, not the more private stuff...
<<Sorry, I misunderstood. Having never been the aggressor in a romantic courting, I really don't know about any of the steps a man takes, what signals he wants, and all that...>>but dont' mind me, i'm starting a new antidepressant in about 2 hours so i'm sure my insecurities will be replaced with unrelenting self-confidence :) <counts down the minutes to parnate>
<<Can I have some of that? :-)> hmmm..... i'm going to have to start working on a plan to find out which girls are more affectionate before i spend a lot of time getting to know them..... i'm thinking asking them might be the easiest way :)
<<After having a boyfriend for 4 years who was *not* affectionate in the least, I totally specified that trait in my personal ad. Most guys who care about that usually say to me, *I'm really affectionate and love holding hands and cuddling and stuff, how about you?*FWIW, my now ex boyfriend has turned around completely, loves to be affectionate, and his current girlfriend *hates* it!
> coool... i love this advice... if we could spend 5% of the time discussing relationships that we do discussing meds we would be experts!
<<You know, I am very impressed with men (people in general) who can articulate what they feel and what they need and what they like. It makes life so much easier. Tell the prospective date you are affectionate, want this this and this, whatever. She'll respect you for being honest, even if she doesn't agree with everything.>> you seem pretty bright and upbeat ..... as much as anyone i've talked to .... but i've not known guys or ads to be so focused on positivity ??
<<I think it's human nature to put something in your ad to make sure you don't get exactly what tortured you the most in your last relationship. :-) And these guys probably had depressive, mean, whiny exes and it drove them nuts. Just like I don't want a guy who's *not* affectionate, and I don't want a guy who worships at the alter of the almighty dollar. :-)
>>YOU just have to be confident that YOU have something to offer ... and if you're not currently suffering significant depressives symptoms i'm sure you do... and if you don't, you could probably fake it :)
<<Hahah! Actually, I know I have a lot to offer. My only hesitation is about my looks which I don't feel that confident about. That's why having my picture on the service makes it easier. Guys see me, and still contact me if they think I'm attractive....>> nah there is no way i can go out with anyone until i get over this washout period .... less than 2 hours before i start parnate though..... yay parnate!
<<Good to know yourself that well. When I was horribly depressed, I so badly wanted a boyfriend because it would have been nice to have someone there who cared about me, who would look out for me, and all that. *That* feeling makes you almost desperate, and I did end up with a total wacko. Now, I'm just looking for a partial wacko who's wackiness fits in with mine....Susan
P.S. Good luck with the parnate. How long before that drug starts to work?
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poster:Susan J
thread:270019
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031020/msgs/271442.html