Posted by HannahW on October 7, 2003, at 18:53:08
In reply to Pain » galkeepinon, posted by Susan J on October 7, 2003, at 12:29:33
I've been following these threads, and reading the archives. I wasn't around when these things happened, so I didn't feel I had any right to make any posts. Besides, I didn't really know what I thought. On the one hand, the crimes were terrible. On another hand, she's trying to make amends. On a third hand, it's hard to believe someone's sincerity when you've been betrayed by that person before. And on a fourth hand (I'm halfway to being an octopus!) this is a mental health issue on a mental health board, and we all have our issues of varying degrees.
But I think Susan's words were very wise, gal. You came clean, you did your best, but only you can know for certain what your true intentions are. It seems like your presence, no matter how well intentioned, is causing a lot of pain to a lot of people--even those of us who are relatively new. It's very upsetting to see people so bitterly angry at each other, and I feel like the board has lost much of its sensitive soul lately. I, personally, feel a loss that the board doesn't feel as safe anymore. I feel a loss that, because I'm new, people are suspicious of me, when all I want is to connect and feel included. I feel a loss that when I could always count on reading posts that were unbelievably supportive, regardless of the topic, which gave me hope that I might be accepted with all of my inadequacies too, that now I'm reading posts (in each direction) that are so mean and dripping with sarcasm.
So gal, I think you've been brave, but I think you're causing more harm than good, even though you may not mean to. I don't believe you're helping anyone, including yourself, by continuing to post here.
I'm not in any position to make any judgements, and there are very few people who have ALL the facts. (Actually, no one does.) But if your intent is to help people heal, then perhaps the best way you can do that is by making a sacrifice and letting go of this board "for the good of the order." It just seems like the right thing to do, because you're hurting a lot of people, including people like me, whether or not they were part of the original issue.
poster:HannahW
thread:266224
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031002/msgs/266506.html