Posted by giget on June 26, 2003, at 14:28:30
In reply to Kaly, my bunny kitty =^..^=, posted by kara lynne on June 26, 2003, at 14:11:53
Well I thought you people would have had enough of me interjecting my life into every thread....
I was with him for over 5 years. I was very weak after him and fell into the trap of calling him and telling him I loved him and that I would do anything to get him back. I thought maybe I did not show him enough love, like you, but you only showed that amount of love for a reason.
Well on and off, and I mean about 2 days of the month we would talk and get together, for 2 YEARS! I finally realized he was literaly using me... physically and mentally. I tryed everything to make it work. I would call it a "me fix" that he needed, he would be all sweet like in the beginning of the relationship and draw me in for one day or two, then ignor me for a month.
I finally put a stop to it the last time he came over. Like I said I realized he was using me, and I did not let that happen. The next day at work, did I mention HE works about 20 ft from me?, we got in an email war. He finally said that he would never be happy with me or love me anymore. That was a turning point. But it took 2 years to figure this out, and the therapist said I have not even greived yet!!!
The dream of a normal life with a husband, house, family fell apart at my feet.... Long story short, I was in denial of a few major things in my life and that is when we first meet. I thought to be normal it was all this stuff. My dream was only with him and that is the only person I could have it with....
So I am not really greiving for him or who he was, but my dream.... I have to disconnect the two and so do you. Write a letter to yourself or him or the dream, don't send it, and say all your feelings at the time. Do not act like you are writing to him, trying to get him back, just write down your feelings. It is something in trying times that you can depend on. Anytime you want to call him, you should call me... I have been there and I am still dealing with it....
Hope you feel better after the apt search!
poster:giget
thread:236377
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030626/msgs/237277.html