Posted by maryhelen on April 28, 2003, at 19:20:11
In reply to Thanks to all, posted by mmcasey on April 28, 2003, at 18:10:38
Meghan:
Even though we have a safe forum here to tell the truth about our feelings I still admire your courage. It is true that in "real life" these feelings cannot be accepted by others who are unable to relate to what we are going through.
Having said that, I have experienced three suicides. One in particular, leaves me with tremendous guilt. Although he had a girlfriend, we were good friends and he was calling me late at night, assumingly after she went to bed. I believe now he was saying goodbye. He made the assumption that I was doing okay and I didn't deny it. Had I been honest about how difficult things still were for me perhaps we could have had better dialogue. He ended up jumping off a bridge. I know intellectually that I probably couldn't have prevented it but my lack of honesty haunts me to this day. He was charismatic, funny, kind, intelligent, supportive, attractive and so very caring. I tell you about this because it is true the people left behind are devastated. I don't think that I will truly ever get over it. I do, of course, understand his depth of depression, to be able to do what he did.
I hope this is not an inappropriate message, but I have never been able to express my feelings to anyone. I want you to hang in there with the rest of us. I admire your bravery.
maryhelen
poster:maryhelen
thread:222922
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030426/msgs/223011.html