Posted by NikkiT2 on April 10, 2003, at 14:20:59
In reply to Re: help with the stigma » NikkiT2, posted by WorryGirl on April 10, 2003, at 13:44:32
You're very sweet, thankyou.
I understand bullimia so well.. I do the binging thing, but never seem to do the purge side, so I just add and add weight. Last August I came off all my meds, and dieted so well and lost 30lbs.. I went off my diet for one weekend at the beginnig of Decemeber, and its been down hill ever since. I also went back on meds that weekend (Zyprexa and Mirtazapine) This last 2 weeks I ahve binged every day on chocolate and frosted flakes. It feels awful to know the weight I lost is now coming back again. In 5 1/2 weeks time I am flying out to visit a friend in Canada, and she has booked a spa day for the pair of us.. How can I spend time walking around in my bathing suit???? The stretch marks on my legs look red and like scars... maybe I could get away with wearing a full body wet suit!! *lol* And as she is paying for this, I don't know how to say how scared I am of it. I would sound so ungrateful.
As for my friends.. my best friend, Giles, I ahve known for so many years.. since I was about 8 on some kind of way, but we've been really good friends since I was 17, he's the only person from my home town I am in touch with. I just can't bear for him to see me so fat.. He's cool, always has been, is very handsome and has great dress sense. His wife is gorgeous, and I just feel I will be such a let down, and would ruin their style. So, I just never contact him.. I have lost his address, and don't know if he still has same mobile phone number.. and I'm scared I have lost him for ever because of this. I get birthday / christmas cards from him, but they never contain any contact details.. *sighs*
I guess I am lucky that I'm married, and I do believe my husband loves (even though after nearly 6 years together, I have only just come to believe this).
Oh, I'm rambling again!!
Nikki xx
poster:NikkiT2
thread:218105
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030407/msgs/218260.html