Posted by Alara on January 3, 2003, at 20:14:38
In reply to Re: Bluedog, ask her out! BookGurl and » Alara, posted by bluedog on January 2, 2003, at 10:41:07
> I've added a little message to thank you both down below in a thread started by Tabitha.
>
> BY the way Alara how is work going? Are you settling in? I read on the med board that Cipromil is helping you a bit.
>
> It's not easy is it? Often by the end of the day I am in a pretty run down state since recently returning to work myself after four months off with a severe depression (I got the flu on my fourth day back). Today I was really depressed by the end of the day so I got home and needed a "little" lie down. Any way two hours later I woke up to make some dinner for myself. (by the way feeding yourself is also really hard when your depressed isn't it?) but I've perked up a little again. It's now midnight here so I'm going to bed now and it's only one more day to the weekend (YAY!!!)
>
> I'm still adapting to the new routine (and I'm only on a four day week at the moment) but my mind and body have decided to fight me every inch of the way. I've taken the liberty of doubling my Lovan dose to 40mg (generic prozac) to see if this will help me get through this period. My valium is also assisting me at the moment but the doseages of both the valium and Lovan, that seemed to work like miracle drugs when I spent all my time at home with my beautiful doggies, have really lost their effectiveness since ny return to the "real world". I'm seeing my psychiatrist again next week to get his opinion on what's happening to me and to get some more words of wisdom from him (I hope).
>
> I've also noticed that since returning to work that even one beer at night will make the next day a misery so I'm swearing off the alcohol again until I adapt to my new routine (I used to self medicate with alcohol pretty heavily and really only started making progress with my depression when I quit all alcohol for a six month period) I've recently started drinking at "safe" levels again but have discovered that even though my drinking is under control now it still affects my mood in a pretty negative way.
>
> Warm regards
> bluedog
>
>
Bluedog, I am still doing better than I was before starting the Cipramil before Christmas, but I did something really stupid on New Year's Eve and am still paying for it: I spent the night with my ex and wound up smoking pot and drinking until 4am. Since then I have noticed a real dive in my mood and confidence, and the efficacy of the Cipramil has waned considerably. Of course, I know that the solution is to steer clear of pot (which I cannot seem to tolerate) and heavy drinking bouts...Call it New Year's Eve stupidity. I told myself that `everyone was doing it' and so that there was nothing wrong with it. It will probably take another week or so to get back to where I was before my binge. I noticed the difference at work on Thursday and Friday, feeling all depressed, anxious and paranoid. However, work was still less painful than it was before going on the meds. :-)Bluedog, have you tried Efexor? When you see your psychiatrist, you might want to ask about switching from Lovan. Efexor once pulled me out of a deep depression within a matter of 3-10 days...Almost all of my social anxiety disappeared while on it and, as a result, I was able to keep my job! The downside to this drug is that it is very difficult to withdraw from - but I hear that most meds are problematic in this regard anyway.
Your comments about the effects of low amounts of alcohol on your mood are interesting. There was a thread on PB about this last week. I was thinking that one beer at night actually has a positive effect on my mood the next day. But to be honest, I wonder if I've just been telling myself that because I am having so much trouble `letting go' of my old friend, alcohol. (I drank a lot of wine for four years and have only cut down to safe drinking levels over the last couple of months.)
Hey, Bluedog, I know how scary it is to be overwhelmed with feelings of fear and depression when you return to full-time work. If it's any consolation, I have a strong hunch that you just have a highly sensitive nervous system that takes a while to adapt to high pressure (and possibly noisy) surroundings. You will habituate given time, although a change in meds might help you for the time being. (You are talking to someone who totally understands. :-) You will also benefit from just talking to your doc and letting him know what's going on for you. (I always get tremendous relief from talking to my doctor as it's so hard bottling it all up at work every day.)
Keep writing and let me know how you get on!
Alara
poster:Alara
thread:34014
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021226/msgs/34482.html