Posted by Anna Laura on December 12, 2002, at 6:24:05
In reply to NO HOPE, posted by Anna Laura on December 11, 2002, at 2:46:51
Dear Eddie, Judy, Gabbix, Tabitha, Ritch and Roo,
You're such incredible people. I wish i could meet you all.
I really would like to say more, but i feel somehow crippled (loosing mental focus). I wanted to wait, in order to answer every single post more throughly, but i can't wait 'cause dreadful afternoon is approaching: yesterday afternoon was horrible; I get relief just around late evening and i don't want to wait to thank you all.
I guess Tabitha was right when she said it might be plain old depression; may be it's winter blues, who knows. I'm still looking for the psychopharmacologist: i know she got back from the congress: i've been trying to find her this morning with no luck; hope i'll catch her later. I need to know wether i should be dropping Tegretol and start a new med; taking Xanax to alleviate negative racing thoughts for now.I called a friend of mine yeasterday who's bipolar I. He's entering the manic phase now (he won't take lithium, i've been insisting countless times, calling him on the phone, trying to convince him, saying he could be taking other meds but he wouldn't listen to me);
He was like: "Oh, Anna, i was thinking of you two days ago i swear: why did we break up, oh man! Hey listen, i'm going to drop in and we'll get laid, but i'm gonna go downtown to see my man first" (he's not gay, he meant the pot dealer).
I know i shouldn't have, but he made me smile.I have been a little bit selfish, i know, i should have been worrying about him (he wouldn't listen anyway);
i couldn't help myself : "feeling" his joy gave me a tiny little drop of optimism and i drank it.
poster:Anna Laura
thread:33204
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021206/msgs/33256.html