Posted by beardedlady on May 7, 2002, at 8:16:27
In reply to I HATE MY LIFE!!!, posted by Angel Girl on May 6, 2002, at 21:13:08
I don't know what to say to you, AG. When I am hating my life, I wonder what someone else could say to me that would hit home. Does it help to be reminded that people are where you are so often, but that they survive, they endure, and they often rise above?
Two of my friends have abandoned me for their own reasons. One is just very busy and very selfish. The other is proud and doesn't like to be the one to call first, so she just won't call at all.
But I haven't been the greatest friend to them, either, I suppose. I complain constantly about my troubles--my aches and pains, my dizziness, my migraines, my insomnia, my ears, my nose. I have seen dozens of doctors in the last two years, and none of them pinpoint exact causes of all my troubles. I cheer when an x-ray shows a sinus infection. I rejoice when I get shingles or herpes or a cold or pink eye because, at last, it's something people can SEE.
I am dizzy. I have been dizzy since August first. In July, I had a brain MRI, and my brain was pristine. I had an ENG to determine the source of my dizziness. Nothing. I took migraine meds. Nothing. It's still here, and no one knows why, and no one can see it. (And one doctor is convinced it's migraine, though he can't make it stop.)
On Friday, I am having a colonoscopy and an endoscopy. They're getting me coming and going. My G-I doc also wants a gallbladder ultrasound, though I just had one nine months ago. He thinks I have an ulcer, reflux, or gallstones. My biggest fear? I'll find out on Friday that NOTHING was there.
I am worn out. I am tired of being sick, and I am tired of tests, and I am tired of doctors.
But you know what? I'm not tired of living. It has been great, and it will be great again. I don't know when, but I'll rejoice when it gets here.
I hope you have had good times to reflect upon. They are a big help when I go through troubled times. And think about what things people tell you that make you feel better. Those things are good to know. Sometimes I say to my sis, "I just want someone to tell me it's going to get better." She says, "But you know it will already! Of course it will get better. It has been great! This is just a phase, a little setback. No biggy. Go kiss your daughter." And I feel better.
I hope this helps.
If anyone else reads this, please don't respond to my own troubles on AG's thread. I would appreciate that. (Though you can start a thread for me somewhere else, if you have something that might help.)
beardy : )>
poster:beardedlady
thread:23219
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020430/msgs/23237.html