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Re: I've lost a few friends » Rach

Posted by dove on March 19, 2002, at 11:17:48

In reply to I've lost a few friends, posted by Rach on March 14, 2002, at 1:34:09

What you are writing makes perfect sense, and don't feel pressure to respond to all the replies to *your* message =o) Seriously! I have thought, spoken, cried, and written those same feelings and emotions so many times myself. In fact, it has been one of my greatest hindrances to getting support from my p-doc's, my friends that are left (only one left who lives in the same state), my family, and the entire P-Babble board.

I seem to shut-down when I get into my dark places; and when I need help the most, I am too overwhelmed to write or call or reach out. And the few times I have tried, I couldn't get a single full sentence out and all I did was frustrate the one trying to help me and make him think I was crazy and suicidal.

At this exact moment, I have at least 20 different people who have been waiting a significant amount of time (a month+) for a reply from me, and that's just cyberspace, real-life is even worse. I also have to make myself let go of the guilt, I hate the guilt and it only weighs me down and keeps me from re-connecting.

>
>Be particular, and look for people who are themselves particular, they're out there, and chances are they're looking for you too.
>
>

I have found this to be absolutely true, and have been literally shocked by the people who have chosen to stand by me ("be there" for me) because I never would have guessed that they were open to a friendship with a madly moody long-term depressive.

dove


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