Posted by m3 on February 15, 2002, at 15:18:58
In reply to Re: grraaaaarrrh » m3, posted by Dinah on February 15, 2002, at 14:07:54
Thank you for giving me your perspective. I guess I feel like I had been going along with the search for why I might be angry with her. I even managed to dig up some frustration directly with her.
But I experience it mostly as a frustration with the situation of being depressed. She seems to feel it would be healthier for me to have an object to vent my frustrations upon (she has said as much, more than once). She is also apparently volunteering to be the object (that's me second-guessing). Fine, whatever, she's trying to make me practice being angry or observe myself being angry or something. The problem is, I feel degraded by this little game, and I'm going to have a hard time trusting her with further emotional revelations if I feel she doesn't have respect for them, which is the message I get from being manipulated.
Gaaah! I'm crying. And meanwhile I'm supposed to believe this will make me feel better in the end...what evil god invented this profession?
thanks for patience with ranting
M3> I wouldn't think your therapist was actually trying to manipulate you. Sometimes when they really think they are right about something and you deny it, they push you a bit, thinking that there might be a reason for your denying it. By their thinking, if you get angry or deny it strongly, then they're on to something.
> For what it's worth, here's what I do with my therapist on those occasions where a simple denial doesn't suffice. I enthusiastically and honestly try to explore the idea that he is right. I ask lots of questions about how, for example, I would know I was angry if I didn't actually feel anger towards him. I would ask him what it would mean if I felt angry towards him. I would ask him if he thought that an inability to feel anger towards him might be contributing to my lack of progress. I would ask if he felt irritated with me. I would search deep in my gut for any feelings of irritation and discuss them with him. In other words, if he seemed like he was really dead set on exploring something, I would explore it in greater detail than even he would like until he was sorry he brought it up. And I would be totally sincere about it, because I would wonder why he thought it was important. On the other hand, I might be being a bit manipulative myself. Is it possible to be completely sincere and a bit manipulative?
> I guess what I do is become more proactive about it. If something can't be avoided, it at least feels better if you have some control over it. Maybe I should print this out and discuss it with MY therapist next week. :)
poster:m3
thread:18297
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020214/msgs/18357.html