Posted by ST on January 15, 2002, at 3:17:18
In reply to Re: Am I depressed or what?, posted by Gracie2 on January 14, 2002, at 20:32:01
Hi Bonnie,
It seems that once I realized, grasped and accepted that I suffer from depression (and hypomania sometimes)and that I will for the rest of my life, it was a relief. Now that I know it's depression, when it hits, I know what I need and by now my boyfriend knows as well. People may say: "Go out, be social, you may be surprised!". NO. I do not like to be around people or answer the phone when I am depressed. My friends now know that I do not like unexpected visits. My boyfriend knows never to just bring one of the guys home for a beer. I'm anti-social until I don't want to be anymore. Simple as that. I think you can tell your husband what you need when you get down, and that might make him feel less helpless with the whole situation. He probably wants to help and doesn't know how. What helps you - if anything - when you get depressed?
Sarah
>
> Bonnie-
> I pretty much have the same problem with my husband, who is a very social person. I tried to keep up with him but it makes me so miserable to go out when I don't feel like it, I finally stopped doing it. I get "peopled out" pretty fast, and especially after work, I am usually wound up from all the social interaction and need to stay home and relax. I don't want to chat with the neighbor or talk on the phone or go to a bar. My husband is much different. Probably so are most of the people I know. I am definately the odd man out, but that's just the way I'm wired. I don't think I should have to take drugs or drink a lot to force myself into a different mode. I also don't think it's a sin to be comfortable with your own company, although others would have you feel that way.
>
> Once, my sister repeated a conversation to me that she had with my aunt, who lived closeby and loved so much to be surrounded by her relatives that she was always having some kind of family get-together. My sister said, "Doesn't it bother you that she doesn't show up for most of these things?" (referring to me, of course) and my aunt said, "No. It only makes it that much more special when she DOES show up." Unfortunately my aunt died from cancer a couple of years ago. Sometimes it seems that only the nasty people stick around forever.
>
> Anyway, I feel like your true friends will adapt to your "quirks" in the same manner and like you as you are. I feel that's the only acceptable stance. Admittedly, it took years for me to realize that I don't have to please everyone. Neither do you.
>
> -Gracie
> P.S. I love you, Aunt Judy.
poster:ST
thread:16745
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020112/msgs/16773.html