Posted by Lini on January 10, 2002, at 9:55:30
In reply to Re: taking a break from your therapist?, posted by Bekka H. on January 10, 2002, at 0:32:01
Thank you, thank you. It still amazes me how helpful it is to acknowledge an issue and have people say yes, been there, felt that. I completely distrust my ability to "feel" (I am constantly misinterpreting/judging my emotions) and this board has been extremely helpful, the anonymousness of it let's me sit in my skin a bit better.
Anyway, I think that the important message for me is to honor my feelings about therapy at present and when I am ready, address what they're about. I agree with the "conflict of interest" statement. A therapist walks a fine line, because the trust and openness involved is very akin to caring about you, while the payment for services rendered is very akin to simple business (as in, if you're aren't paying, they're not caring). Why this is an issue for me is of course something for me to think about more, but that fact that it IS an issue is okay, because I think that it does present certain complexities.
Wanting to be a "star" patient, inspiring therapist worldwide is an issue for me on alot of fronts. Anytime that someone "risks" getting to know me, one of my defenses is my quest for perfection. It has worked for me professionally, academically etc, but it's been a disaster for me romantically and not very helpful for me therapeutically. Always keeping people "out" by trying to exceed my perception of their expectations of me leaves me lonely, and feeling like no one really knows me.
Alright, thanks for the "free" forum, it has helped. And if you've been terribly bored by all of this, send me your address and I'll mail you a check. hahhaha
poster:Lini
thread:16539
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020102/msgs/16602.html