Posted by susan C on October 10, 2001, at 11:51:54
In reply to Re: vacillation and weirdness » sar, posted by Kristi on October 10, 2001, at 1:58:27
You were a crossing guard too!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was the first girl they ever chose to be a crossing guard at my elementary school 1961 8:o)
Yes, what does happend to the brain at about age 12?
My husband is permanently stuck there, permanently (except when he has a flu bug) happy.
I was shocked when I first thought of suicide...then the third, fourth, fifth, etc... and then Dr commented and I could see it is a sign...if I watch close enough before-during (ha!) and -as i move away from it, I can see the sequence is the same going in and (in reverse) coming out.
I don't think I would ever do it...There are too many people who love me, and I know how it felt for me after my brother. I think people make a decision at one point or another...maybe it gets to the point were it is like a scary movie, where you have seen it enough times you know what is going to happen next, and even though your adrenalin is rushing, there is a part of you that goes, ah, so what...then the girl gets away and kisses the boy at the end...
As a friend here once said, and I hope he doesn't mind that I quote him, anony-mouse-ly
'I know the times when it seems as if there is no escape except to end the pain. Then, after a time, you rise out of that doldrum and realize from a different view the beauties in life, albeit not perfect. My conclusion, the world is a better place with a wounded me than w/o me at all.'
your babbling mouse
susan C
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> Sar,
> You are so down to earth... so in tune with your feelings and others.... that we, especially I need you here!!!!! I'm sorry your going thru so much pain... it just totally sucks!!!
> Definately talk to your pdoc.. something needs to be adjusted!
> Your a great, smart one.... you'll be fine. Keep shopping at that mall...... wish we lived closer to each other.... keep an eye on each other. I'm always here if your need a shoulder. I wish I can help with the pain. I can say all the things that are said in a time like this, but from personal experience, it goes it one ear and out the other. But from all your posts,,, yes, you have some major depression issues... but you also showed me you have such a zest for life. Life is meant for people like that.... so I believe your time will come. I just have this vibe that you will end up being one of those "happy" people some day... I just feel it.
> Please feel better..... your too good of a person to feel this way. It always seems to be that way. Please keep posting babe.... reading your posts make my day. Except for maybe this one. Get a good nights sleep and post for me tomarrow, just to check on you.... make sure your okay. Love ya kiddo, Kristi
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> > so i'm on the telephone with my wrong-side-of-the-tracks friend that i met in the psych ward over the summer, and i'm asking that he score me enough heroin for 6 people, when finally he gets to the root of the matter and suggests that we off oursleves together with a gun. i'm in the middle of explaining to him that i belive suicide is a solo mission and that i want an easy drug-induced death rather than blood and guts, whem my friend rolls up in her new car and we spend the evening shopping at the mall, and i buy i skirt even though i think that next week i'll let this psych-ward friend of mine score me enough drugs to die, and this isn't a message of alrm but rather, do you often feel this way?--here i am depositing my checks, brushing my teeth, clocking in; here i am with a great boyfriend and painting my toenails and buying new undeez but i want o DIE DIE DIE, and what is to become of me?
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> > lying in bed forever is too boring.
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> > do i stay or should i go...do i up my dose of neurontin, do i do this or that, i don't want my life to be a jigsaw mystery-solver when i used to have so many other pursuits...in grade 5 i was so psyched about life that i's shower and dress at night before i wnt to bed, so that in the morning i could just pop up and walk a mile to school to happily do my early-morning duty of being a safety-guard.
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> > what happens to the teenage brain?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
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> > oh
> > oh so dramaticLLY YRS,
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> > SAR
poster:susan C
thread:12327
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011006/msgs/12346.html