Posted by storm on April 22, 2001, at 11:43:47
In reply to Re: a question for anyone to answer darkwind, posted by julesvox on April 21, 2001, at 12:01:19
I understand everything you're saying. & I didn't mean to sound too forward or anything. I guess it's just that I needed God to get to that certain point; I realize some people don't. I do know what it's like to fight, and to feel like you can't anymore. and I definitely know what it's like to be so extremely overwhelmed with stuff that it messes you up. I've kinda just gone through that too, dating someone who loves me. & I just can't understand why. you're all in my thoughts, love, Christy
> others have said it better than i can, but for me it's not god but having gradually come to a place where i believe we're here to sit with whatever unfolds and fight like hell when we need to. sometimes fighting like hell is just staying alive when you want to die because pain is intolerable. and trying not to hate the part of you (i do believe it is a part) who wants to die--she has every reason to want to. she's really angry.
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> i notice now how feeling suicidal is such a reflex. i recently got some very validating & exciting news about my writing--got nominated for a big fellowship--and one of my 1st reactions was 'well, i'd better kill myself' bcs the feelings were so overwhelming. how...understandable, really.
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> julesvox
poster:storm
thread:5676
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010417/msgs/5758.html