Posted by julesvox on April 21, 2001, at 12:01:19
In reply to Re: a question for anyone to answer darkwind, posted by storm on April 18, 2001, at 18:08:16
others have said it better than i can, but for me it's not god but having gradually come to a place where i believe we're here to sit with whatever unfolds and fight like hell when we need to. sometimes fighting like hell is just staying alive when you want to die because pain is intolerable. and trying not to hate the part of you (i do believe it is a part) who wants to die--she has every reason to want to. she's really angry.
i notice now how feeling suicidal is such a reflex. i recently got some very validating & exciting news about my writing--got nominated for a big fellowship--and one of my 1st reactions was 'well, i'd better kill myself' bcs the feelings were so overwhelming. how...understandable, really.
julesvox
poster:julesvox
thread:5676
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010417/msgs/5749.html