Posted by S. Howard on January 16, 2001, at 22:14:14
In reply to Re: Depression poisoned my marriage, need help » Noa, posted by Ant-Rock on January 16, 2001, at 20:33:41
Anthony-
How terrible for you. I am "the depressed one" here and my husband is usually supportive. I would be lost without him and try hard not to let my depression and "wierdness" affect our marriage (although it's impossible to avoid it entirely). For instance, I rarely feel like going out socially but I don't object to him going out with his friends. When they come to the house I don't hang out with them (I run upstairs and "hide") but
I'm not rude, I tell them to grab a beer and make themselves at home, or I'll insist that they eat if I'm cooking dinner. But I'm lousy at "small talk" and usually avoid it.If my husband were depressed, I believe the only reasons I would consider leaving him would be:
-if he refused to seek therapy or treatment or help of any kind, particularly if he just kept getting worse
-if he self-medicated with drugs or alcohol to the point of being abusive to me or the kids
-if he refused to work, everOf course, if his depression also made him constantly nasty and sarcastic, this would get old after some time. I don't know how long I could weather that.
I agree that it is not your fault that your wife has no friends or any outlet for her frustrations, unless you forbid her to have friends. She could also use counseling...there's no reason you can't see a marriage counselor for both of you and a therapist for yourself.
No matter what happens, don't give up on fighting your depression...keep trying! Keep trying!
Luck,
Gracie
poster:S. Howard
thread:3972
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010105/msgs/4008.html