Posted by dari on October 24, 2000, at 9:27:08
Hi everyone:
I have been pretty healthy for the last 6 months. I've found a med that works for me finally, after 18 in two years that didn't and 12 hospitalizations. I take neurontin 900mg daily and it's pretty effective. I suffer from bpII, ptsd, bpd and an anxiety disorder(was diagnosed in 98 after getting sober). For the last two months I've been volunteering at my son's school and playing tennis at least once a week. I'm taking a class presumably towards my masters. I've had pneumonia (which I'm now over) for the last month plus migraines last weekend which really threw me for a loop. I hate to whine but I just don't feel good. I'm not physically sick from the pneumonia anymore but I'm completely unmotivated to get anything done. It takes a list with big squares to check off to get stuff done. I still cook meals for the family and do laundry and meet my commitments (the few I make), but I'm not happy. I try to keep myself out of bed during the day and read voraciously (a book a day), I just don't get it... I'm doing what I'm supposed to do and yet things are not right again. I truly believed after such a wonderful summer (it was phenomenal!) that I had beat this #@$#% beast to death and that I was okay. I'm not though, and it's so frustrating. I don't know what to do. Unfortunately for me, one of the hallmarks of my particular brand of illness is that I tend to go from fine to terrible in lightning speed. As I've tried to explain to my therapist, I just don't bounce. Most people bounce back when something big or small/bad or good occurs in their life. Not me. I just don't know if I can go through this again. My son is finally stabilized after seeing his mom sick so... much and now I'm scared that he's going to have to go through it again. Intellectually I know that I will get through this, but the pain is unbearable and blinding.
Hanging on...
Dari
poster:dari
thread:1545
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001011/msgs/1545.html