Posted by g_g_g_unit on February 7, 2014, at 8:56:37
Sorry to just drop in casually, but I was having a crisis that I don't know how to manage.
One thing I miss about my old psychiatrist/therapist is that he was willing to offer hands-on advice, unlike a lot of behavioural therapists I've seen. I have a tendency to get 'sucked into' arguments -- laying my whole self-worth on the line -- and he gave me some useful strategies for disengaging.
I discontinued a medication 10 weeks ago and have been suffering from some kind of awful, persistent restlessness (or akathisia) that has left me house-bound, and otherwise bed-bound.
I lack any kind of negotiating/assertiveness skills whatsoever. I managed to get to the emergency room, and, instead of standing up for myself and asking to see a psychiatrist or neurologist, politely agreed when the doctor said it was anxiety and sent me home. My own GP has said there's nothing he can do, unless I drive the one hour to see him (which is impossible). I managed to see one other doctor, who was no help.
My mother has a tendency to deny, negate, downplay or obfuscate any requests for help beyond *her* immediate capabilities. She will lash out and act like it's an affront against her; she makes weakness seem disgusting. When I explained what was going on to her, she said I'm restless because I do nothing all day and need to go for a walk. Later, she made me drive myself to the emergency room, which was ridiculous.
So, without any recourse, I've spent 2 months in my room. Since the emergency room visit 6 weeks ago, she hasn't asked me how I am once, even though nothing has improved. I have recurrent dreams of being strangled/gasping-for-air and unable to speak, which I know relate to a sense of powerlessness, because this has happened before. It's a bad cycle, because I won't get any help or attention, then have to act completely self-sufficient, then when a problem arises, it's like "no there's not, you seem fine".
I need some kind of help getting to a doctor. I need financial assistance to see a neurologist (we aren't well off, but it isn't completely beyond their means, particularly when it's becoming so bad).
Knowing a quick fix is impossible, how do I possibly broach the issue with an infant-parent and avoid them lashing out? How do I convey the gravity of the situation without them diminishing it, or making it all about them?
The hardest part is asking for their help in the first place. I just get paralyzed and overcome with revulsion at the thought.
poster:g_g_g_unit
thread:1060393
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20131211/msgs/1060393.html