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Re: Avoidant Attachement Disorder/ Dr Bob » stargazer2

Posted by baseball55 on December 23, 2013, at 21:28:48

In reply to Re: Avoidant Attachement Disorder/ Dr Bob, posted by stargazer2 on December 23, 2013, at 11:29:31

> No I'm not being cared for, have always cared for myself but lately have given up.
>
> Avoidant Personality Disorder? Just read about this...looking for answers as to why I am the way I am and see if there is any help to change before I give up completely.

I think if you had a avoidant attachment as a child, you would learn, as I did, to not need things from others. To not need anything that you couldn't give yourself. Becoming attached to my husband and daughter kept me going for a number of years. But my inability to ask for anything for myself led them to take me for granted and eventually I fell apart.

What helped me was finding a therapist to whom I became deeply attached and who made me feel cared for and heard for the first time in my life.

But like I said before, I don't know how much was about how good a therapist he is (and he is very good) and how much was about my desperation to be cared for.

When I first started seeing him, I continued to project this persona of independence and strength and to minimize my distress. He called me on this and I began to cry. I told him I was afraid that no one would take care of me. I was afraid that no one would care about me. I was afraid that no one would care what happened to me.

I didn't even realize I felt this until I said it to him.


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poster:baseball55 thread:1056440
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20131211/msgs/1056917.html