Posted by mollieQ on May 16, 2009, at 0:00:12
In reply to Releasing the pain, posted by blahblahblah on May 14, 2009, at 3:11:43
With long-term trauma like you have experienced, and I'm so sorry you went through what you did, I think the cardinal rule in trauma therapy is slow, slow, slow. Even though you understandably want to get to excising the pain quickly, once you've taken the first courageous step by starting therapy, it is counter-productive to try to move faster than you are ready to. Chronic trauma, especially prior to adulthood, affects our brain wiring, nervous systems, and hormones, which are highly reactive as a consequence of the sustained high stress. Moving too fast in therapy can retraumatize you emotionally, and lead to flooding or numbing, which seems to be what you tend to experience. That's a hallmark of psychological trauma.
It sounds like you have a strong relationship with a good, caring T, and that's great. Be content to take baby steps as you approach the aspects of your past that cause you to numb your feelings. The numbing is protective, at least it was in the beginning. Sometimes then, like dissociation, what was a survival tactic can become a problem in itself. But as you grow stronger in therapy and begin to heal, you will be increasingly able to face those feelings, in small enough doses not to be overwhelming.
I know how hard it is to be patient when you are in emotional pain. But you are on a good path and have already made an excellent start. It is a long road and better viewed as a marathon, where you have to pace yourself. Many here on this board are on similar paths, at varying points. Moral support and encouragement helps a lot.
I'm glad that you've started posting here. I wish you peace and healing.
All the best,
Mollie
poster:mollieQ
thread:895722
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090515/msgs/896035.html