Posted by llurpsienoodle on December 6, 2007, at 17:48:34
In reply to ((LL)) » llurpsienoodle, posted by muffled on December 6, 2007, at 14:58:29
> I bet he was trying to let you connect w/him but not 'work' but just connect and be 'normal' and not trying to crash ahead. He proly know this is TOUGH TOUGH TOUGH stuff, and it goto be accepted, digested etc, just a bit at a time. Its too big to take in a bite or two. Nibble, nibble. Thats the only way methinks.
I asked him "So what's next? I got nothing left?" "Are you sure?" "yeah, I think I got it all out". him: "Well, now that the skeletons are out of the closet, they get to dance around and then fall on the floor in a pile of bones" me:"how bout a pile of dust?" "dust- good!"
> PATIENCE.
> I think mebbe your T is GOOD. Mebbe good as mine! HA!We should have them arm-wrestle...
> For me, I chafed, I wanted to get down to business. I actually SAID some, let the dam break and the filth rush forth and be GONE. I wondered my T say nothing, like it wasn't even. But I don't think it works that way....not so easy :-(
YEAH!!! go muffled. Hey-- I saw a license plate today MUFFY. no joke. I thought of you and laughed when you passed us. :)
> So my T, she stay away from it, she say all in its time. She proly know its gonna come back, so we work then, but for now, I just sit w/it and have my gut hurt, but I think in the background is growing acceptance, slowly slowly.
> She a smart cookie my T....lotsa times, later, I see what she been doing, but I don't realize it at the time. SneekyT! LOL. But she doing her best for me, and I pretty much trust she doin what best for me.
> WOW.
> I pretty much trust my T?!
> CALL THE PAPERS! This is NATIONAL news material!
> NEVER thot I'd see the day.((((((((muffled))))))))))
She trusts you too :)
> Anyhow, methinks this trauma stuff like cutting a blackberry thicket, OH MAN! , you ever done that??????Wicked.
> You got to cut chunks, here and there. Cut the chunks into bits to haul to the burnpile. You goto work slow and careful cuz them prickers are wicked, and no matter HOW careful you are, when you get in tub later, you covered in scratches, you got thorns stuck in your skin, it hurts and stings when the water gets on them. Takes alotta time and careful steady work to chop them backies back. Hard slow work, and lotsa owies. Just the way it is.
> If I tried to just jump in and start hacking, I end up COVERED in bad deep scratches and prickers stuck deep in my skin all over, my clothes ripped(this is the voice of EXPERIENCE talking!). Now I older and smarter and more careful.are there still berries? One year I picked enough to make a big 'ol cobbler. it was yum.
> Think trauma T the same.
> Take care LL.
> Patience, and you doing right and good things.
> And if we slip up, s'ok, we accept and move ahead again.
> Just keep going.
> MFunny thing is that T said that my symptoms indicate that something very traumatic happened to me, and that there may still be something there. I told him that the way I think of it was that there was very chronic, almost daily explosions of rage from my paternal figure. And how I was the subject, if not the target of some of them. So that's what I said. As I said it I assumed the "duck and cover" posture almost out of instinct. hmmm. does THAT mean anything?
I see T 2 more times before the holiday vacation. yuck. and then I'm on my own for 20 days. yuck
take care, my dethorned friend,
-Ll
poster:llurpsienoodle
thread:798549
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071204/msgs/799194.html