Posted by Tamar on October 14, 2006, at 8:26:05
In reply to Re: Wanting comfort, posted by mair on October 13, 2006, at 13:45:22
> My last T was pretty bad I thought but not as bad as what you're describing. However, my husband and I ran into him a couple of years after I stopped seeing him, and he introduced us to his wife. He got my husband's name right and screwed up mine. My husband wasn't the one sitting in his office twice a week and sometimes more for 2+ years. I was unbelievably hurt and offended.
That’s terrible! No wonder you were hurt.
> Many hugs from me. Every now and then my T will say something which touches me like how she was reading a book or an article which made her think of me. Most of the time I convince myself that I mean nothing to her, although I know on some level that it isn't true. (not always a very conscious level). I wouldn't know how to ask her for comfort anyway. I've often wished that she was telepathic, and have told her this a few times. The reality is that we have to learn how to make ourselves heard and understood. We can't assume that they're picking up what we think are such obvious signs.
I wish my therapist would say he was thinking of me. Instead he seems to go to quite some effort to remind me that I know nothing about him. He went through a phase of saying every week, “Well, you know nothing about me; you don’t know where I go or what I do or what’s on my mind.” I didn’t know how he expected me to respond to that, but I felt incredibly rejected. And of course I know a few things about him from Google, but that obviously hadn’t occurred to him. Of course, if he’d asked me what I thought I knew about him, or whether I wanted to know things about him, I might have fessed up. I wish I’d had the guts to say, “Actually, I know more about you than you assume.” I guess the assumptions go both ways.
poster:Tamar
thread:694409
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061012/msgs/694702.html