Posted by mair on October 19, 2004, at 20:43:51
In reply to how does your T handle silences?, posted by shrinking violet on October 19, 2004, at 19:44:54
My T usually takes me off the hook either by guessing at what i want to say (usually guessing wrong I might add) or maybe asking me another question.
We've discussed this at different times. I think she's learned that it's better sometimes for her not to jump in - that I need to be pushed to stay on a difficult topic. However, I've also had to learn not to be as upset about my own inability to communicate - to be comfortable with the silences too, or at least to be comfortable explaining them. Instead of letting them persist, sometimes I'll tell her that I'm having an anxiety reaction which means that my mind starts racing so I'm unable to stay with any thought for very long - or that I just can't address a difficult question - the "I don't want to go there" response. She'll start talking around the topic, whatever it is, and sometimes we really do stay away from it, or talking around it buys me enough time to be able to find a way to say whatever I was avoiding to begin with.
God - what an obtuse answer!
How did your T handle silences?
Mair
poster:mair
thread:404908
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041016/msgs/404929.html