Posted by HannahW on October 8, 2003, at 12:17:01
In reply to Re: I wouldn't (couldn't) tell him - All » HannahW, posted by fallsfall on October 8, 2003, at 7:05:10
When I was really struggling with my self esteem, which I did for a long, long time, one of the things that helped me (although I hated the exercise) was to list ten things about me that I sorta liked--and here's the scary part--and then I shared them with someone I trusted. (In my case, it was my husband.) He affirmed everything on the list, one at a time, and even talked about each item and gave examples of how it was obviously true. Although self-esteem doesn't come from the accolades of other people, it was very affirming for me to have someone acknowledge and agree with the things that I *thought* might be true about me, but needed someone to help me fully embrace those things as absolutely true. We did that several times, and I eventually came to believe that the qualities I *sorta* liked but thought might not be true, really were true.
This probably wouldn't work for everyone, but it did for me. If you don't have anyone you trust enough to do that with, and you wanted to do it, you could post here. Some of them we wouldn't be able to affirm or discredit--like what great hair you have--but other things we could definitely affirm for you.
I really hope you figure this one out. Is it your primary focus in therapy right now? So many other problems stem from self-esteem issues that it's important to resolve. And you WILL resolve it and come to know what a terrific person you are, and how much you have to offer.
poster:HannahW
thread:265991
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030925/msgs/266767.html