Posted by fallsfall on October 4, 2003, at 10:54:49
In reply to Re: Therapy can seem so cruel--Dinah/Fallsfall, posted by HannahW on October 3, 2003, at 19:17:14
>>Sort of. More specifically I think I felt lonely because I was craving an intimate exchange, and all I got was one-sided therapy.
But you aren't supposed to get an intimate exchange in therapy (even though we want it).
>>>I am trying really hard not to get too dependent on him.
>>Me too. I hope that doesn't interfere with our therapy. Some say that transference is integral to the healing process, but it also turns a person's world upside down.
Trying not to be dependent doesn't keep me from getting into transference. I think that for me the dependence has more to do with a belief that the therapist has all the answers, and (more importantly) that I don't have the answers. It feeds on itself - the more I rely on the therapist, the more I believe that I can't do it on my own. My current therapist is well aware of my dependency problem, and I think that he is actively working to encourage my independence.
You are doing fine. You are honestly looking at your issues. You are bringing them up (and up and up) in therapy until you get answers.
The things that you want from her (like this intimate exchange) are things that you want from people in general. Do you have that outside of therapy? Since therapy is supposed to end sometime (I still want forever therapy), if you only satisfy that need in therapy at some point you will again be unsatisfied. This is so much easier to say than it is to do. (You said this in your first post)
Are we having fun yet?
poster:fallsfall
thread:265255
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030925/msgs/265505.html