Posted by Medusa on October 8, 2002, at 2:01:19
In reply to Re: mother - and Freud? help!, posted by Ginjoint on October 7, 2002, at 16:33:41
> Holy crap, Medusa, can I relate.
Thanks Ginjoint, this identification helps me a lot. I feel so bloody isolated!
>Job hunting involves selling yourself (ewwwww!)that, and convincing someone I really really want to do something that pales in comparison to the attraction of ceasing to exist. "what's your 10-year plan?" is not meant to be answered with, "well, I certainly hope I'll be long-buried by then!".
> life has or has not gone according to what you (or your parents) had planned,
>yeah, I was supposed to marry a missionary (at first, to be one, then my parents got onto a submission kick, whereby a woman should not leave her father's home until she marries) and instead I went to a secular college.
They fought me tooth and nail on the college thing, and had their friends all praying that Jesus would lead me back to the fold, and wrote dozens of bitter letters.
Of course, my parents now claim credit for anything I have or do that looks like success. They flaunt my Ivy degree as justification of their childrearing and education practices.
I can't win - if they think I'm happy and successful, they take credit; if they think I'm miserable and a loser, they blame my unbelief and everything I did wrong. But ... most parents do something like this. Why am I so hung up on it?
> keep a pad of paper near me at all times
Brilliant. I'll do this. The last time I used this technique was on my college app essays over a decade ago - I was frozen (almost literally, since my room was in an unheated basement) and couldn't crank out the story I needed to tell, but I had to get the heck out of there. Funny, I feel like I've regressed since then.
>the clarity you gain might help get you over the hump. Or not. Life's a bitch that way.
>I think it will. And the shrink isn't purely analytical - she's a real kick-in-the-ars kind of person. She only took 3 sessions to work out most of DH's stuff with his screwed up family. He did a 180, and he's not a therapy kind of person - he initially went to her to ask for some tips on coping with my depression.
> Hoped this helped in some way, shape, or form.
Immensely. Thanks very much, again, Ginjoint.
-M
poster:Medusa
thread:1237
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20020829/msgs/1243.html