Posted by BarbaraCat on August 7, 2004, at 1:42:16
In reply to Re: Speaking with Rock » BarbaraCat, posted by katia on August 6, 2004, at 19:29:54
> I like to think of it as he was/is incredibly smart and also in so much pain and desolation that was going to do what it took to "come to the light" as he put it. I thank the heavens above that his pure little soul found its way to me. I'm so grateful he was insistent because I was so very busy that I couldn't hear that well.
**Seems like Rock was a catalyst for some deep shifts in you. You were both lucky. Some old connections from lifetimes of assisting each other.
>
>>Cathy can sure help either validate that or let you know that it was your guilt.**I'll be good to connect with her. I'm faily certain it wasn't guilt and hope it's not just mind stuff making a fantasy out of it - but I don't think so. I miss him very much but was and am clear about the need for sending him off. I've had quite a few contacts with other souls and energies and they usually hit me out of the blue with surprising info. I can associate some of the more florid ones with my manic highs but the real ones have a definite genuine feel. This was real and I'm grateful that things were cleared up and copacetic. He simply needed acknowledgement and to consider his feelings in the matter. That was only one small part of his great soul - but it still needed to be heard. Even the Vet and the assistant were amazed at his tenacity - little heart just kept on beating.
The experience made me consider alot more deeply the issues that could arise around a death - a living being may not feel 'ready' to go, maybe unfinished business, attachments, violent conditions around the passing, whatever, and strong reactive energies may emerge. This wasn't the case with Merlin, his was just a little 'hey, you know, I wasn't exactly thrilled to be escorted from the life I loved - and you need to be aware of that.' No blame, just a little renmant of a personality thing that had it's say and then felt satisfied and happy to have been heard. It feels complete.
I can almost see a ritual of Atonement for loved ones who have died, simply acknowledging regret for having caused any harm and asking forgiveness. A good way to clear the psychic air. I don't think there is such a ritual, maybe the closest is Mexico's Dia de Muerta but that's not really a formal seeking of amends. I'm sure Cathy will be able to assist, but any thoughts on this are welcome.
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> Where did Merlin get his name?**He was a gorgeous Maine Coon, and he had an 'M' on his forhead, like tabbies usually do. 'M' seemed be cropping up and besides he was pure magic, a strong willed, but very kind and incredibly loving cat. Protected the young ones as they were growing, very intelligent. Had a wise and generous nature, and what a wooshie-wooshie snuggler. Merlin fit him well.
How did you post your pictures of Rock? I'd love to post some pictures of my guy just to share who he was and his wonderful energy.
**Katia, I don't know about you, but my mood disorder seems so irrelevant in the face of what's gone on. Things have shifted, like I'm seeing out of new eyes. I still feel shakey and prone to intense emotions, but they pass. I'm looking at it like 'well, this is high sensitivity living and it's a gift, so learn to deal with it'. It's hard enough living with one foot behind the Veil at the best of times. I'm so done with letting my weird neuro-chemical soup throw unnecessary obstacles in the way and muddy my path. I'm sick of living an unlived life.
I don't know where any of this is going, but I'm willing to stay open and alert until the path becomes more clear. Praying to the Great Spirit for guidance is the only thing I know how to do at this point, but at least I know that much. You know what I'm saying? Bipolar depressions have robbed me of my life energy far too long and it's time to send that toxic stuff off into the Light where it can do no more harm. But no matter what, no way I'm going off my lithium. - Barbara
poster:BarbaraCat
thread:371461
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20040220/msgs/374969.html