Posted by BarbaraCat on August 6, 2004, at 18:43:23
In reply to Speaking with Rock » BarbaraCat, posted by katia on August 6, 2004, at 17:14:35
He sounds like quite the amazing personality, and a little conniver. He knew what he wanted, that's for sure. Animals have such a true sense. They can tell who is a friend. We had a cat that adopted us from a house next door. He knew a good thing. What a cat. He was Merlin's protector and hunting sensei. They're together now.
I had an unusual experience yesterday. Was in a very deep meditation and Merlin came through out of the blue and let me know he was more than a little pissed at us for 'sending him away'. He didn't understand why. It was Ok for him to be sick as long as he was with us. He was very hurt. It caught me by total surprise because I'd had some lovely images of him being free, happy, unemcumbered by a suffering body. I didn't understand how my very real and powerful sense of happy and free Merlin jibed with this hurt and angry one. What I got as best as I can understand, with his explanation, is that pieces of spirits can splinter off and exist in multiple dimensions and densities. So, the free spirit of Merlin 'over the Rainbow Bridge' is real, but the sad little outcast one needs to be healed as well. It seemed to be enough that I acknowledged his hurt, and took the extra effort to explain that it was NOT that we did not 'not want him anymore' but did it out of deep love for him. His little particle of earth personality was hurt and needed to be reassured.
I guess that's where ghosts and such come in. Things can happen at the moment of death - quantum levels of reality. We seem to assume that once they're dead, all is wonderful and made perfectly clear. But he fought to his very last cellular spark to stay here and he made it very clear that the taking of his precious life was not to be taken lightly, and not all was rosy. It seemed to matter to him that I was sorry and asked for his forgiveness. He gave it freely but it seemed important to him that I was very clear about how not OK it was for his life to be cut short. He probably would have lived another 2 days at the most, but that's a little animal's logic for you.
Alot to be incorporated. I know this was not just random guilt stuff. I had no doubts or misgivings about the decision to free him from his starving little suffocating body -- I sure hope someone will do the same for me should I reach that point! But I now feel as though something has finally been put to rest that felt incomplete and now feels complete. How interesting. We're apparently still in an ongoing relationship with those we love, no matter what their form.
Cathy sounds wonderful and I will contact her. Blessings to you. - Barbara
poster:BarbaraCat
thread:371461
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20040220/msgs/374855.html