Posted by dreamboat_annie on October 1, 2006, at 21:41:03
In reply to My Turn, posted by Phillipa on October 1, 2006, at 12:26:04
I tried to reply earlier, but something happened to with my computer, and I lost the whole post - Ugh!
Ok, first, you are not a worthless piece of you know what. I know it's hard to stop the stinking thinking, and we all do it to ourselves, but, please try to see the good and the worth that is in you. I read posts and see how thoughtful and kind and supportive you are with everyone. You obviously mean a lot to people here and have made a difference in their lives. A worthless piece of you know what would not be as highly regarded as that, so that is some measure of your worth. You have a lot to offer and, hopefully, one day you will be able to recognize that for yourself even if it is just one small acknowledgement a day or every two days or . . .
Second, I can only imagine how hard it must be to have had to give up a career that you loved. You can, though, take pride in the fact that you did it for many years and did it well. That is an accomplishment. Now, it is time to put your strengths to work in other areas. You obviously a compassionate and caring person, who has a gift for listening and offering support. Perhaps, as a first step and even if it one day or a few hours or even one hour, you could volunteer in some capacity where you would be putting those wonderful people skills to use. You could volunteer at a seniors' home reading to seniors or playing cards or something like that. You could volunteer at a womens' shelter offering support and guidance to women in distress. You could counsel under-privelged children or youth at risk or even teach children to read. With your warm and compassionate personality, you would be a gift in these areas, and it could help you overcome your anxiety.
Finally, try to tell that part of your brain that tries to tell you that you are worthless to shut the heck up. I know it's hard, but each time your brain starts sending you negative messages, try to counter with a positive message - anything. Or, distract yourself with something pleasant - take a sniff of lavender or paint your toenails or make some cookies. Anything to send your brain the message that you are not going to play the game anymore, that you are gaining control and that your life does have meaning and that you are worthy or happiness.
Be strong and remember that there are a lot of people who care about you and think you are special.
> Well as hard as I fight I woke up this morning feeling like a worthless piece of you know what. It seems I help or can help everyone but me. Now my brain is saying oh you want to committ suicide but I don't it's just my brain talking. And the fears when I stay home or go out are horrible. The hospital is out as they don't try to help you anymore it's a holding place. So how do you get your brain to change its's low self esteem thinking. I think I was triggered my watching ER last night. I always wanted to get back into nursing but reality is that I can't. Heck the show upset me so much I was crying. The scenes were so gross. How did I do it for l5 years. So now what? Love Phillipa
poster:dreamboat_annie
thread:690811
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20060921/msgs/690957.html