Posted by Lindenblüte on October 1, 2006, at 10:07:11
In reply to Re: update 24 hrs later SI **trigger* » Lindenblüte, posted by Jost on September 30, 2006, at 23:31:14
> I'm glad you took my advice (if I do say so myself..if I may be allowed to), because I hate to think of you picking at your face, which I know will hurt later.
Your advice was REALLY REALLY good. Please feel proud of it.
Jost- it's bad. I have a couple of permanent scars :(> And your cuticles. I went through a spate of the cuticle thing-- I never thought of it as SI, but maybe it was.
>
> A couple of my cuticles never recovered. I remember it felt good while I did it, but hurt so much later. And now I look at them and think, grrrr-- why did you do that?I've been doing this since forever, but at some point I stopped chewing my nails down to nubbins. I KNOW i can do that, I just don't understand why the cuticle chewing is SO hard to kick.
> I know sometimes I start looking at something and get transfixed by the awfulness of it and necessity of doing something-- which often aggravates the situation.
I've heard of these things as being almost like an instinctive grooming thing. When I see my husband's raggedy hangnails, I want to get started on him too, or if he has a zit on his back... It's all I can do to stop myself. I'm such a freak. I really like the part of it that goes like this "find a scratchy/flaky/bumpy bit. ATTACK!. Now it's all better" But that's only the tiny bit of the story. Most people have a bit of this. Almost everyone is annoyed by a chipped nail or a hangnail or a scab. That's not pathological. But I've turned it into this whole OCD routine several times a day. Worse still, it gets REALLY bad when I couple THIS with some SI instincts.
> It's so fascinating to hear that you find yourself going into the bathroom and trying to put the light on. Do you ever know what stimulated you to go in that time? Interesting also that the lower lights are like an alert that you're doing something, which you might not noticed until you were doing it, when you don't think about it so much as get invested in the immediate satisfaction of doing it.
>
> Anyway, I don't want Linden to be having scars on her face. Not at all.
>
> Which doesn't mean that I think SI is bad, in the sense of immoral, only inthe sense that it somehow hurts when I hear that someone has done it. But I do know that when it's done, it doesn't necessarily hurt, but can feel somehow good. So I'll try to remember that, too.
>It's all good Jost. I don't even understand 100%. I know you don't judge me for this bad habit, and I'm impressed that you want to get involved, even when it's something you might not completely "get". Thanks. It's nice to know you care. :)
I need to get an Rx though, for the really bad crisis times when I really don't give a crap about doing serious damage, for when I will gladly suffer some scars just to keep the terrible memories at bay.
-Li
poster:Lindenblüte
thread:690265
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20060921/msgs/690780.html