Posted by llrrrpp on August 27, 2006, at 15:33:26
In reply to Re: Feel like a loser because I am so cautious, posted by Jost on August 27, 2006, at 2:53:22
> It's kind of fun if you have off-beat friends who are introducing you to their off=beat friends, when you're at loose ends, and meeting new, somewhat hip people is the best use of time--
>
> just to feel sort of "in" for a while-- imbedded in a more vivid world--
>
> Never did it much myself-- too screwed up, too much of a loner, too sure I wouldn't be accepted.I have done that scene before, in hs and in college. Both times I felt I was losing my self. and that was kind of exhilharating, but at the end of the day, it was just me, with my unhindered brain, and I wondered- WTF am I doing here? Who are these people? Am I ready to be part of this? And the answer was always no.
> It's more a social thing than a drug thing, really-- maybe it makes you see more intensely, dissolves certain social constraints or self-consciousness--
And that's what I'm scared of.
> It isn't that different from not having drugs, if you're really into the mood-- except that it makes the mood more communcal, more external, and also harder to puncture, unless you do, in which case it's like falling through the looking glass.
>
> It's better not to know and be ABD in your twenties, than know and have dropped out of college several times and not have a direction, and have shown a few flashes of engagement here and there.Well, if I'm ABD for more than another 24 months, I might try to get a hold of something more exciting than coffee... just a fair warning.
-ll
poster:llrrrpp
thread:680434
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20060827/msgs/680573.html