Posted by llrrrpp on August 27, 2006, at 0:23:45
One of the posts responding to my Kernel panic referred to drug use in a funny way:
She drank the Kool-Aid.
I'm not sure exactly how to address this without seeming crazy. Oh wait. I can be as crazy as I want.
Here's the thing. iv'e never used drugs except for a liberal dose of binge drinking and a glass of wine most nights of 2004 and now i'm curious, being in my late 20's and never having had even a huff of tobacco what is up with illicit drugs. why are they so popular. what do they make you feel? am i a bad person if i try them? if i dont't need to but I triy them anayways? what if i don't ever want to try them, but i feel bad, because i WANT to, I'm just chicekn sh*t?
if i had a moral problem with drug use, it went away a few months ago, when i started taking psych meds. i realize now that street drugs act in similar ways, only they encourage more 'seeking' behavior and have more rewards. they are alwo messier, and less reliable dosing. AND they are not covered by my insurance plan. The kind pdoc who gives me my fix has reassured me that i'm not an addict or an abuser, just because i need the drugs to keep myself alive at this point.
but why can't i shrug the feeling that i have missed out on one of the basic exoeriences of life, just because i was always the stuck up snob, or the cautious one, and always refused the joint, or to go along on the drug run. god knows it was dangled in my face enough.
who's rules was I living by? why?
this is what a post written with eyes closed and under influence of seroquel withoutt editing looks like cheers!!!!
-;l;
poster:llrrrpp
thread:680434
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20060725/msgs/680434.html