Posted by Kath on May 20, 2006, at 21:04:55
Actually - it's the results for HIM of his unwise life choices that I find it hard to let go of....if I'm coming from a more intellectual level.
From an emotional level -
why can't he learn from his mistakes?
I first joined PB in 2000 when I had started taking Celexa for anxiety due to my son's behaviour. He was around 16 at that point.
Here he is 22 & STILL using drugs; STILL partying; STILL awake all nite & asleep all day; STILL NOT WANTING to WORK;
The big difference is that he & his girlfriend have their own place. THAT is a MAJOR thing that's different.
(Excuse all the upper-case letters; I just feel really exasperated)
For several months he's had no job. His girlfriend works a couple of days a week. 2 weeks ago their gas was turned of because they have a $800. bill they haven't paid. Their April rent cheque hasn't been cashed yet, but they are expecting it'll bounce.
I find it SOOOOOOOOOOOOO hard to detach....to not worry about the "natural consequences" that might happen.
Why can't I just let go????? Instead of not thinking about him, it's as if his situation is in the back of my mind all the time. When I asked him how the 'job search' was going & mentioned to him a couple of local places that are hiring he said something like: "I feel like you & Dad are pressuring me to find a job - it's like when I lived at home; I might as well be living at home."
I hate the thought of them having the stress of their rent-cheque bouncing. My mind does things like "oh jeez - then they'll be given their notice & will have nowhere to put all their belongings & will lose all their belongings" etc etc.
What is wrong with me? I wish I could just DETACH.
Has anyone had this type of thing to deal with? I feel so alone. So very alone in this.
Any feedback is MOST welcome.
Kath
poster:Kath
thread:646365
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/child/20050817/msgs/646365.html