Posted by Peter on September 24, 2003, at 18:41:34
In reply to Hanging in there ! YEAH!! » Peter , posted by lil' jimi on September 23, 2003, at 21:52:52
Day 19 and I'm really not doing so well. Just very depressed and anxious. I don't understand this lex. Every other SSRI started working for me by the 2nd week. I don't mean to sound so impatient, but I'm just so sick of this waiting and not knowing if it will kick in at some point, or if I'm just a non-responder. And just thinking about the possibility that I won't respond at all to the lex gives me tons more anxiety and depression; I start feeling hopeless, since I've tried every med out there. And then I start thinking about how awful it will be to have to withdraw from yet another pile of medications and put my body through all that again (I've been hopping from one 'cocktail' to the next for about 8 years). I'm on vacation with my family, and I can't be pleasant around them, no matter how much I try. I think about what I'll do when I go back home to NY, and I feel hopeless. I'm a musician, but, because the majority of the last few years of my life has been spent trying to find ways to find relief from depression/anxiety, the social and occupational sides of my life have gone way downhill. I can't perform or compose anymore because of my mental illness; I've lost touch with all my friends. When is this going to end; I hate to sound so self-pitiesh and melodramatic, but when will I get my life back? Now I feel guilty for not being grateful for all that I do have, like a supporting family, a roof over my head, etc. But, you know, it's so hard to be thankful when depression/anxiety are weighing you down. I'm sure you all can relate. I'm sorry for babbling on, but I just needed to vent. It's all so frustrating.
poster:Peter
thread:109458
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030923/msgs/263037.html